but I'm depressed, and I don't feel like its Halloween. I have had a miserable day today, trying to get my cash in by the 1st but its going to take 5 to 10 days...having no money makes its difficult to have any fun or even be happy.
isn't it strange how much money means to make anything happen or brings someone happy, if you think about it, the only thing in my life that doesn't cost any money is making mad passionate love to my boyfriend (which is a great thing!).
My thoughts today have been very painful (why is it I cant cry today?), taking that first cut into your skin to feel more painful then I already do. Just one slice, with the sharpest blade, its a clean straight cut, and after that it burns like hell...but nothing like the pain in my neck from my bulging disks, I pray that that pain goes away, I want so badly to return back to work again, I miss my job...;(
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Posted by Terry Freeman at 3:51 PM
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I have many Blogs I would appreicate it if anyone would review or even check out, some of them have chat boxes so that you can leave me messages. I have subscribed to many websites to promote them and get traffic flowing through them so I can earn some money while being disabled. My disability is work related and I've fallin' into deep depression from losing my job of Nursing for over 21 yrs. they say that I can never return to my normal job title of Nursing, its takin' a tole on me. I have lost my job, house, car and now I am homeless. I transferred my phone line to my daughters house so I can continue to blog for cash. Below I have listed links to my blogs and companies that I have gotten signed up to, if you can donate any money to help me to get started I would love it. Please check them out when you get a chance and email me through mOefreeman@gmail.com . I hope you check them out and you might even earn cash doing so, my topics are interesting and also my daily diary of my lifestyle...thanks and have a great day !!!
My Accounts are as follows and most all of them you can search under mee moe, meemoe, mOe1960 or my real name Terry Freeman;
AdSense (most popular)
MySpace.com (most popular)
Facebook.com (most popular)
Stumble (most popular)
Bumpzee (most popular)
MyBlogLog.com (Most popular)
BlogSpot.com (most popular)
BlogCatalog (Most popular)
IMC Affiliate program
Stumble Upon (most popular)
and a lot more I didn't mention
a lot of these are placed into my blogs as links to view.
THANKS AGAIN AND HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY HALLOWEEN !!!
My Blogs are;
myspace mee~moe blog
mee mOe BlogSpot
Posted by Terry Freeman at 12:44 PM
Monday, October 29, 2007
Curling up into a ball to bawl, because I feel sorry for myself. I want to think positive, but the overwhelming feelings take over. Being homeless is not exactly a feeling you want to experience. not knowing where your income is coming from, or if I am getting any at all. Where do I stay? if only I would behave, what am I doing wrong? I can write positive but I don't take my own advice...
Carefully consider your choices. But don't get so consumed
with making the perfect choice that you fail to make any
choice at all.
Most choices will involve some degree of compromise. In the
real world, the perfect option may not be available to you.
Instead of holding out for a perfect choice that never does
come, make the best choice from the options available to
you. It's better to move forward with a slight degree of
disappointment than to be endlessly stuck on making a
Carefully and wisely consider your options, then go ahead
and choose one. Take what you have to work with and begin
actually working with it to create real value in your world.
Remember that the fulfillment of your dreams is a journey
and not a single step. It is unrealistic and
counterproductive to expect that a single choice will solve
all your problems or instantly bring you everything you ever
Over time, careful, intelligent choices will get you
precisely where you want to go, even though each individual
choice will involve a little compromise. Keep choosing the
best every chance you get, and those dreams will indeed
Posted by Terry Freeman at 12:20 PM
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I don’t know how to feel, or what to do next. I’m homeless, and with no money, I have a child that's 17, just one more year and I feel I have failed before she makes it on her own. I’ve been selfish, thinking only of myself,. I worry on where we are going to stay each tonight, and if any of the people that we stay at cares. They just are just getting tired of us and this is all getting old.
Things aren't happening as fast as I want them to, I’m use to making 2,400 a month and now its completely dropped to 550. a month because I was injured. Workers Comp and Disability has run out, I’ve gone to Welfare, taking pills for chronic pain and losing weight, loss of time...where do I go from here Lord, I pray, I cry and scream, wondering where my life is heading. I’ve failed my kids, attempted suicide, tried overdosing, I want to sleep forever, but life continues, I have kids that look up to me. Its too hard lord for me, please lift all of this off my shoulders, take my emotional pain away and chronic pain, so I can think straight.
I thank you for all you have given me through my life. I am proud of my children in what they have become, each and everyone of them bring me happiness, I wish I can return the favor...Amen
Posted by Terry Freeman at 12:28 PM
Saturday, October 27, 2007
What gives a human soul the thought to self destruct? the desire to feel pain inflicted onto them. Most of time I feel numb, I just want to feel something, whether it be love, anger, destruction or pain. And then I choose to stay numb, by using anything to not feel anything. I wonder how about I began to become the way that I am. Was it my childhood lifestyle, my past relationships? maybe Karma if anyone believes in that.
I've become my own worse emeney, cutting, straving, and self pity, I grovel, and scream and cry. No I don't think the world owes me anything, I just feel the way I do because my emotions take over. It isn't me, its someone else, its a "I dont feel, or want to feel anything, so just leave me be". I want to leave this life of mine, but I wouldn't do it by drowning, I have a fear of drowning, or maybe I should and face my fear. I want to sleep and never wake up, cut myself and watch me bleed. I am not one to faint of the site of blood, I am a retired Nurse. I ask myself what there is left in this life of mine, and I have not come up with any answers, so I just cut, take pills, and cry...
Posted by Terry Freeman at 2:57 PM
Friday, October 26, 2007
An interview with Thomas Hawk and Marc Levoy, Stanford University Professor, who is jointly appointed in computer science and electrical engineering. But that's the geeky way of explaining this dude is doing some radical stuff with cameras. He shows us a camera that can refocus the image AFTER you shoot it! Talks about other research to stitch images together, digitize statues, among many others.
Posted by Terry Freeman at 1:39 PM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
If you are always willing to make one more attempt, you can
reach whatever goal you choose. No matter what results you
get, the only real failure is when you stop making the
When you are mistaken, you can learn. when you are knocked
down, you can get back up.
When you find that you've veered off track, you can correct
your direction. When you discover that circumstances have
changed, you can make adjustments accordingly.
Eventually, you'll reach the point at which the next attempt
you make is the one that will complete the desired
accomplishment. What a shame it would be to stop just one
effort short of success.
For that next effort will make all the others pay off.
Commit yourself to making one more effort, one more attempt,
as often as necessary, and anything is within your reach.
Keep making that one more attempt, keep getting back up, and
Keep moving forward in the direction of your goal, one step
after another. And you will surely get there.
Posted by Terry Freeman at 1:02 PM
Friday, October 12, 2007
Somewhere inside, somehow you know that there's a purpose for
you on this day. Let that purpose come to the surface and
bring it fully to life.
Authentic purpose is not a deep, dark secret that you must
struggle to discover. Decide to allow it, and purpose will
find you where you are.
Purpose is not so much a matter of what you do. Purpose is
more about the way you feel while doing whatever it is you
Those things you know without having to learn, connect you
to purpose. Purpose is not merely what you think you might
believe, but what you're certain that you are.
Purpose is the unconditional, limitless realm in your life
that cannot be diminished by anything that happens. Whatever
you undertake from the sense of that purpose brings great
fulfillment and richness to life.
Always you have known that there is purpose within you, a
purpose essential to who you are. Give it to life again and
again, for you'll never tire of seeing its shine.
Posted by Terry Freeman at 4:24 PM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Self-Injury or Self-Mutilation?
Self-injury is not something people talk about very often, but for an estimated 2 to 3 million Americans it is a serious problem. The majority of people who self-injure are women between the ages of 13 and 30, but there are "cutters" of every age, gender, and economic group.
People who "self-injure" are not usually suicidal. They do however, intentionally inflict injuries upon themselves, usually in response to stress or trauma. Their injuries may vary from minor cuts that heal quickly to very serious wounds that leave permanent scars. This is also known as "Deliberate Self-Harm Syndrome".
If you or someone you know self-injuries, please get professional help right away. This is just an overview of a very complex myriad of syndromes.
Self-injury usually indicates that somewhere during development that person didn't learn good ways of coping with overwhelming feelings or stress. They’re not sick or insane; they just never learned positive ways to deal with feelings and emotions for various reasons. Positive coping skills can be learned at any point in life. People who self-injure can learn to use new and healthier coping mechanisms. This process may take years to develop with the help of a skilled therapist familiar with this condition.
The late Princess Diana's word's shocked the world when she admitted in a television interview that she intentionally cut her arms and legs and had thrown herself down a flight of stairs on more than one occasion. FINALLY, self-injury -- the practice of deliberately cutting, scatching, burning, or otherwise injuring one's own body -- was about to come out of the closet. After that interview thousands of self-injury survivors called or wrote the media in response to that interview in just the United States alone.
Cutting seems to be the most common type of self-injury. "Cutters" often use razors, utility knives, scissors, needles, broken glass, or whatever they find to make repetitive slices on their arms, legs or other body parts. Some people burn themselves with cigarettes or lighters, others pull out their own hair. Many people who self-injure say they do it because they normally feel "numb" and cutting helps them to "feel alive." Others talk about the "sense of control" they may get from self-injury. This may be the first time or thing that they have felt a sense of control in their lives. Most agree that incidents of self-injury are triggered by stress and anxiety.
Self-injury is usually kept secret, and the "cutter" often feels deep shame and guilt from this ritual. People who self-injure are at risk for infections if their wounds are not treated properly. Permanent scarring can also result from self-injury and often does. Many people who self-injure wear long pants, long-sleeved shirts, and turtle-necks even in warm weather to conceal the marks they've left on their own bodies.
Why Do People Self-Injure?
This problem is not completely understood by health care professionals or psychologists. It seems to be most common among people who have been sexually abused as children, molested as children, or by survivors of "sexual_abuse.htm".
Whatever the context or reason, self-injury seems to function as a coping mechanism. "Cutters" use self-harm to feel calm, "in control," or just to "feel something." However, self-injury is not a healthy coping mechanism - it is a self-destructive behavior that probably reflects deeper, more complicated mental health or personal problems.
Some Common Factors of Self-Injury
￼1.Age of onset between 10 - 16 years old
￼2.There was a major change in the teen's life -- parents divorce or death
￼3.There is a history of family violence, abuse or sexually abuse
￼4.Intense feelings of fear, hurt, anger, rejection or abandonment
￼5.Feelings of loss and or need for control
Some Common Reasons Why People Cut Themselves
These are some of the reasons our readers who "cut" shared with us.
￼They find it soothing:
￼To feel pain on the outside instead of the inside
￼To cope with feelings
￼To express anger towards themselves
￼To feel alive and real
A way of communicating what they can't say with words:
￼To tell people they need help
￼To get people's attention
￼To tell people they should be in hospital
An attempt to get people to react to their action:
￼To get people to care for them
￼To make other people feel guilty
￼To drive people away
￼To get away from stress and responsibility
￼To manipulate situations or people
Triggering Events Reported by Young Adults Who Self-Injure:
Being rejected by someone who is important to them
￼Being blamed for something over which they had no control
￼Being "wrong" in some way
Posted by Terry Freeman at 11:19 AM
Monday, October 08, 2007
When you set out to cause harm to others, you will harm
yourself even more. If your intend is to deceive, you will
find that you have succeeded in cheating yourself.
Make your purpose to give, and you will end up receiving
something of real and lasting value. When your goal is to
teach, there is much that you will learn.
When you sincerely appreciate others for who they are, you
will be genuinely admired for who you are. Act with respect
in each encounter, and you will be well respected.
The motives that you direct toward others will, without fail
and without exception, affect you as well. You cannot escape
the consequences of your own intentions, so make those
intend the very best for all of the world around you, and
you will benefit greatly as well. Seek to give nourishment
and support to life, and you will grow stronger with each
What you give to and wish upon your world determines what
comes into your life. Give your very best at all times, and
that is exactly what you'll get.
Posted by Terry Freeman at 6:27 PM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
My Dad is selling his Fathers 1903 St Louis, it has been in the family for over a hundred yrs. I have search through the internet to find information on this runabout built by George Dorris and only one page came up. If you are interested in this 1903 St Louis, please email me and remember that this car has NOT been restored, it is in its orginal condition and due to aging the paint has cracked. My email is (email@example.com) I dont have any idea on a price to list this car of my Dads, if you can give me some ideas then email me. Thanks again !!!
Posted by Terry Freeman at 5:40 PM
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
You opened your eyes and watched the sunrise today
how many times has it tried to take you away
the cold of the night turned your tears to ice on your cheek
as you feel the thoughts in your mind are stronger than your body that's weak
they'll tell you they know what it's like and they feel where you've been
but you've touched the door in the sky that's usually not seen
don't think of that your victory is so near
put your face to the sun let it melt your last tear
Posted by Terry Freeman at 10:09 PM
My daughters and I took a trip to the thrift store to look for costumes, what do you think of our outfits? please leave a comment and tell us what you think...;)
Don't you love to just go into a thrift shop and try on clothing like this?
The Glasses make the picture perfect, what do you think?
should we go to the bank looking like this?
The thrift shop we went to, you could barely move around. It was so packed with clothing, shoes, glasses, coats, and jewlery. We had a blast and the woman that owns the store allowed us to try on just about anything we wanted. It was a moment to always remember. What are you dressing up as is on Halloween? can you guess which one is mee?
Posted by Terry Freeman at 1:15 AM
Monday, October 01, 2007
I'm sitting in my hopeless corner,
Wishing that life would go away.
As a cold shiver surrounds my body,
As it does everyday.
I pull my legs to my chest,
And try to keep myself warm.
But this beauty is still brewing,
There's going to be a storm.
I clench my skin until it bleeds,
Will I survive this vicious attack?
As the darkness sweeps over me,
It's too late, I can't go back.
It engages in a precious fight,
The one with my heart.
As memories are re-enacted,
It helplessly falls apart.
It duels with my soul now,
Enforcing all the guilt and regret.
As I fall with such emptiness,
Those things I tried to forget.
It's battling with my body now,
And this looks and feels wrong.
Self-loathing my scarred body,
As this utter pain goes on.
It escapes my weak and fragile person,
Enough damage done for the night.
Although it is still always there,
It is never out of sight.
Tormenting, Hating and Loving it,
This screwed up demon in me.
Will never let me forget,
Left to live in misery.
Posted by Terry Freeman at 1:10 PM
It amazes to me how complicated placing ads into my blog is for advertising. I know it can be more simpler, I have not quite got the Knack for it just yet, but I am learning each day. Today I have been searching for sponsors on my blogs. If your interested you can email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org, I’ve been on disability, and Workers Compensation.
I am learning through internet, subscribers and other resources. I feel like I am a slow learner, some of this doesn't make any sense to me. For one thing, what exactly is incoming and out going links, I know that incoming links are more important than out coming links. I wish I had a tutor to explain all of the questi0ons that are rattling within my mind, I find that I am fascinated in blog and web designing, sounds so interesting to me, please take the time to read my other blogs listed to the right, I need some feedback on exactly what the heck I am doing. Thank you !!!
Posted by Terry Freeman at 11:42 AM